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When It's Out Of Your Control

Hi Everyone, Happy Wednesday!!! It has been busy, busy, busy, around here and we want to thank each and every one of you for your support and encouragement. FLP is halfway through it's first year! Whoa. It has been absolutely wonderful and we are so grateful to be able to connect with such fabulous families. Thank you. We also want to start this week by congratulating all of the FLP seniors!!! There are many of you that recently graduated over the past few days and we wish you the very best of luck! Parents, congratulations to you did it! This Wednesday, we are going to talk about family. Family is the most important thing that binds us all together. As such, it can be one of the most difficult things to deal with. When our families become sick is when things become especially painful. We want to do everything we can to help. We want to offer guidance and support, but sometimes they don’t always listen. When dealing with an ill family member there are important things to keep in mind. First, you cannot make them do that which you want them to do. It is out of your control to tell somebody to plan ahead, or what they should do should they ever find themselves in critical condition. You can be there to offer guidance and support, but ultimately the decision will always be theirs to make. With end of life comes many decisions . Though we may wish that these decisions were made prior to illness, we know that doesn’t always happen. When planning in advance is not an option, it’s important to make the best of the situation:

  1. Get all of the estate planning documents that you can in place immediately - it’s better late than never.

  2. Listen to family members’ concerns, hear their voice, and allow them to express their opinion. Open communication is pivotal. While all opinions voiced may not be rational, remember this is irrationality driven by fear. Allow people space to express themselves even if what they are saying will never be a part of the ultimate plan.

  3. Make sure that you are participating in self-care. You can only be as good as the person you are meant to be when you are healthy. Walk, drink water, and be sure to give yourself a couple minutes of decompressing time every few hours.

  4. Respect end of life decisions. While we all have our opinions, the patient has the right to have their wishes respected.

  5. Be sure to maintain the memories. End of life can be difficult. Use these last moments to remember the love, and enjoy your time together. Activities and photos can help families remember that there was a lot that person had to give and that the love was abounding.

Please take these considerations to heart. This may be on of the hardest situations you are ever faced with. Loss is difficult, but remember to treasure the memories and hand control over to trusting the process. If you are concerned about a family member or a loved one, and you’re not quite sure if they’ve secured their own estate plan, please have them give us a call. We’d be happy to create a plan that will protect them and their wishes. Until next time, Amy Antonellis

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